


The King of Dirty Texting

by eiriyuki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Easy Read, Fluff, M/M, Schweiden Adlers - Freeform, Texting, haikyuu manga, this is just here to make u happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:48:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24566425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eiriyuki/pseuds/eiriyuki
Summary: Kageyama may be the king of the court, but Hinata is the king of dirty texting.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 14
Kudos: 259





	The King of Dirty Texting

Tuesday 12:34 AM

heard u made it onto the Adlers! 

congrats! 

It’s 12:34 AM. Don’t text me this late. 

**Read 12:34 AM**

oh sorry 😐 

i always forget about time difference

ur still up?

No.

**Read 12:35 AM**

  
  


Wednesday 7:22 PM

good morning! (or evening i guess)

Evening is correct.

Did you need something?

**Read 7:24 PM**

just wanted to say hey

when is ur first practice?

Today was my first day.

**Read 7:25 PM**

🤩🤩🤩🤯🤯🤯

what was it like?!

You’ll see when you make it on a team.

**Read 7:45 PM**

Aww you really think so?!?

Not if you keep texting me

instead of practicing. 

**Read 7:47 PM**

im practicing at the same time

look, i can do it w 1 hand

[video attachment] 

Your on the beach?

**Read 7:49 PM**

duh, did u listen at all

when i said where i was

going and why? 💩

No. 

**Read 7:50 PM**

ur so rude! 

Wednesday 8:33 PM

so what have u been

up to lately? 

Playing volleyball. 

Taking more advanced steps than you. 

**Read 8:34 PM**

**😡😡😡**

  
  


Thursday 8:02 AM

hey what’s up

Thursday 8:22 AM

About to go on a jog.

**Read 8:22 AM**

oh cool is the weather nice?

Yeah it's been pretty decent.

I would still be going anyway

even if it wasn't. 

**Read 8:23 AM**

  
  


i miss the japan air sometimes 

have fun on ur jog 

Thursday 9:22 AM

u should totally try

beach volleyball sumtime

Are you enjoying it that much?

**Read 9:23 AM**

YA!!!!

also we’d prob make a good team

What do you need help or something?

**Read 9:24 AM**

NO! i’m doing fine thanks. 

I’m STILL gonna beat u 1 day!!

I’m still waiting.

**Read 9:24 AM**

GOOD!

that’s actually really nice kageyama

Well I’m waiting for anyone to beat me. 

**Read 9:25 AM**

KAGEYAMA 😡

Thursday 10:15 AM

r u at practice? 

Thursday 10:35 AM

Yup. On a break right now.

**Read 10:35 AM**

cool. 

do u remember that time 

in 3rd year when we went 

on that trip to that shrine

Uh I think so?

**Read 10:35 AM**

wanna know what i wished for

No?

**Read 10:36 AM**

cmon humor me

why don’t u try and guess

But I dont care. 

**Read 10:36 AM**

it was about you

... Ok tell me. 

**Read 10:36 AM**

no u have to guess now

No. Tell me. 

**Read 10:36 AM**

oh suddenly u care?

…

**Read 10:37 AM**

ok 

my wish

was for you to lose against me

Why are you so lame?

**Read 10:37 AM**

IM NOT!

i also wished for other things

Ok. Good for you.

**Read 10:37 AM**

kageyama u have no

conversation skills 

I’ve heard that before. 

**Read 10:38 AM**

i said i wished for other things

now u ask what things

Why?

**Read 10:38 AM**

UGH 😡

Friday 9:43 AM

hey

Hi. 

**Read 9:44 AM**

what’s up

Going to practice soon. You?

**Read 9:44 AM**

laying in bed…

just got out of the shower

Oh it’s night time there right?

**Read 9:45 AM**

mhm

Friday 9:58 AM

what would u do if u were here?

In Rio? I don’t know anything

about that place except that

one bird movie. 

**Read 9:58 AM**

no i meant in bed with me

?

**Read 9:59 AM**

i’m still naked from my shower 😏

  
  
  
  


Kageyama’s entire body freezes as he reads the last text message he received. The smirking emoji at the end of it taunts him as his brain cells race to assemble a thought to process this. The words “naked,” “bed,” and “Hinata” swirl through his mind at a thousand miles per hour. 

As they piece together in a mental image, the frozen feeling in his veins cracks a few times until the ice shatters. He is left slightly limp, shoulders slumped and jaw slacked. 

“Hello? Earth to Tobio? Practice is starting.” Kourai Hoshiumi waves his hand in front of Kageyama’s face a few times. 

  
  


“...” 

“I think we lost him…” Hoshiumi says with a shrug. 

Kageyama ignores him and walks over to Ushijima Wakatoshi. “Ushijima, have you been in any relationships?”

“None that I immediately knew of,” Ushijima responds in an honest and matter-of-fact way. 

_ Is that what’s happening to me?  _ Kageyama thinks to himself solemnly. 

Hoshiumi is incredibly offended. “Hey, what the hell? Why don’t you ask me? I’ve been on tons of dates.” 

“Okay… how would you respond t-to…” Kageyama stutters as he tries to get out the words. His face turns a tomato red before he shakes his head, deciding not to share any more details. 

“To what?” Hoshiumi swoops in swiftly, grabbing Kageyama’s phone from his hand and reading the screen. His face immediately turns a bright red. “Oh… that’s…” 

“What?” Ushijima asks out of curiosity. 

“Wait, is that Hinata as in… Hinata Shouyou?!” Hoshiumi’s blush deepens as he quickly shoves the phone to Ushijima, much to Kageyama’s dismay. 

“Okay, give it back…” Kageyama is the most embarrassed he has ever been, and it’s still his first week on this team. 

Stunned silence is all that comes from Ushijima, and the edges of his cheeks turn a soft red. 

“Thank you both so much for not helping at all,” Kageyama says as he yanks his phone back. 

“Who needs help? Practice started three minutes ago, why are you three still in here?” The voice that enters the conversation is a bit broken up as it tries to piece together the correct Japanese words. 

Kageyama looks up to see Nicollas Romero hovering close by with a curious look on his face. 

“N-nothing is…” 

“Kageyama got a dirty text from his boyfriend!” Hoshiumi explains in Kageyama’s stead. He gives a thumbs up to Kageyama as if to silently communicate “It’s cool, I’ve got you.”

“He is  _ not _ my b-boyf-fr...boyfriend.” The word boyfriend gets caught in Kageyama’s throat, making him sound like he knows even less Japanese than Romero. 

“He doesn’t know what to say back to him,” Hoshiumi continues to communicate for Kageyama. 

As annoyed as Kageyama is at this, he lets it continue because he still wants the advice. 

“If it makes you that nervous… must be…  _ amor? _ ” Romero elongates his sentence as he looks for the words, coming up one short. 

Hoshiumi gasps and looks at Kageyama. “I think that means love, dude. You love Hinata?” 

“What? No? I didn’t even know he liked me?” Kageyama’s blood pressure is at an all-time high, and his voice has risen slightly in pitch. 

“You didn’t know your boyfriend likes you?” Hoshiumi asks with a raised brow. 

“I understand,” Ushijima interjects in solidarity. 

“The right words will come in time. For now, we practice?” Nicollas Romero seems to radiate with wisdom in Kageyama’s eyes. 

He nods politely and apologizes for making everyone late. 

  
  


Friday 10:15 AM

aHhhh i’m rlly sorry 

pls delete those

they were meant for sum1 else?

no they werent. 

Friday 10:23 AM

i’m deleting myself now

u aren’t reading these so i

assume ur at practice 

wow ur gonna have like 10 

messages from me i’m

sorry

Friday 12:15 PM

Hey yeah sorry I was practicing

**Read 12:15 PM**

oh good maybe i can

sleep now

not.

I don’t mind.

**Read 12:16 PM**

The idea of being in bed with you.

**Read 12:16 PM**

oh u don’t mind?

or would u say the idea

excites you? 

  
  
  


“Oh, you should definitely say yes to that,” Hoshiumi comments from behind Kageyama’s shoulder. 

The shock of his voice causes Kageyama to almost fall over, which makes the towel around his neck start to sway. He quickly places his phone against his chest and rages, “Will you knock it off?!”

Hoshiumi takes a few steps back. “You asked  _ me _ for help, remember? Besides, I’m just trying to make sure my fated rival is happy outside of the court, so I can crush him inside of the court with less guilt.” 

“He’s  _ my _ fated rival,” Kageyama snaps back instantly and possessively. 

“You’re rivals with your boyfriend? That’s harsh, weren’t you on the same team?” Hoshiumi casually straddles the bench, sitting on it sideways to face Kageyama. 

“We’ve been rivals since we met, it’s kind of our whole thing.” Kageyama tries to make a hand gesture to go with what he’s saying, but puts it down after noticing Hoshiumi’s expression. 

He is leaning slightly forward and his eyes are wide and sparkly, as if overwhelmed tears are about to break free. “So he  _ is _ your boyfriend.” 

“No,” Kageyama grumbles once more. 

“Wow, I wonder if I have a boyfriend I don’t know about. Life is so weird.” Hoshiumi gasps and says in a low voice, “Oh my god, what if it’s Sachirou-kun…” 

“Can you go bother someone else?” Kageyama asks, still holding his phone to his chest. He feels it buzz once more with another message. 

“Right, okay, you need your privacy with your  _ boyfriend, _ ” Hoshiumi says, adding a falsetto to the last word. “I’m gonna go talk to Hirugami senpai… when should I start calling him oniisan?”

  
  
  


Friday 12:18 PM

  
  


u still there?

Yes.

**Read 12:19 PM**

so answer my question 😏

Yes.

**Read 12:19 PM**

thats the answer? 

give me more details

I have to get back to practice.

**Read 12:20 PM**

awww ok

i’m jealous of the volleyball

Why? You want me to throw

you in the air and hit you?

**Read 12:20 PM**

no i want you to touch me

  
  
  


Kageyama feels just as disoriented as the first dirty text had made him. He feels his face burning as he puts his phone face down on the bench next him. 

Looking up, he sees Hoshiumi talking avidly to Hirugami. They both look over towards him as they’re talking, revealing that the subject of the conversation is him. His eyes dart around the other team members that are grouped up in different conversations. Are all of those about him too?

It is the first week on his new team, and he is already starting to feel alienated from the rest. He’s going to have to work harder here than he used to when Hinata was around. 

He always had this way of making everyone in his proximity seem like an approachable person. Kageyama never realized how much he had taken that for granted. 

Friday 5:58 PM 

Since when am I your boyfriend?

**Read 7:31 PM**

Friday 7:31 PM

Umm never?

Ur so rude to me why

would I want to date you 😘😂

I’m confused.

**Read 7:31 PM**

I can be nicer to you.

**Read 7:32 PM**

Why because you want

my dick now? 😏

Stop saying things like that.

**Read 7:33 PM**

no i’m bored 

Are you just messing with me?

**Read 7:33 PM**

it’s kind of nice to have

the upper hand

so yes

i am messing with u

Friday 7:45 PM

so what are u doing?

Trying to read a book.

**Read 7:46 PM**

trying? is it hard?

No your just distracting me.

**Read 7:46 PM**

really?

what else is hard?

…..…

**Read 7:47 PM**

haha i bet i know

Why are you doing this?

**Read 7:47 PM**

i told u

i’m bored

..and kinda lonely 

So text someone else.

**Read 7:47 PM**

you said you’d be nicer

No I didn’t. 

**Read 7:47 PM**

just scroll up n u will see it

[screenshot attached]

oh i see

it’s only because you want my dick

SHUT UP.

**Read 7:48 PM**

or is it because you want me 

to be your boyfriend first?

No.

**Read 7:48 PM**

I have the messages right here

u want me to be your bf

Ok I KNOW I didn’t say that. 

**Read 7:48 PM**

  
  


ya u just said you wanted 

my dick 😂

[screenshot: I don’t mind. 

The idea of being in bed with you.]

Ok youre the one being mean now. 

**Read 7:49 PM**

Hehe 😜

  
  


Saturday 6:44 AM

how early do u wake up?

Saturday 7:01 AM

Weekends I wake up at 7

**Read 7:03 AM**

nice! it sucks having 

to wait 12 hours to talk 

to you sometimes

Don’t you have anyone else to talk to?

**Read 7:03 AM**

they’re not as fun

As what?

**Read 7:03 AM**

talking to u

r u still in bed?

Yes.

**Read 7:04 AM**

wow lazy

what are u wearing 👀

? pajamas?

**Read 7:04 AM**

😂 sexy

tell me more 

They are just regular pajamas. 

With buttons.

**Read 7:04 AM**

oh i like the idea of buttons

and undoing them 

with my teeth 

Hmm.

**Read 7:04 AM**

what do you want that?

Maybe.

**Read 7:05 AM**

I KNEW IT. 

U WANT MY DICK.

I’m blocking your number.

**Read 7:05 AM**

what no don’t 

Saturday 8:36 AM

did u really block me

Saturday 9:23 AM

KAGEYAMA 😡

Saturday 9:55 AM

What did you want something?

**Read 9:55 AM**

YES

What?

**Read 9:55 AM**

i would really like

for you to like

tell me u like me

Why would I do that?

**Read 9:56 AM**

  
  


**(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻**

Saturday 10:13 AM

Kageyama…

[screenshot attached: I KNEW IT. 

U WANT MY DICK.]

**Read 10:15 AM**

WELL PLAYED

yes i do

So I am your boyfriend?

**Read 10:15 AM**

haha um those 2 things

don’t always go together

but if that’s what u want, 

sure 😘

And when did that happen?

**Read 10:15 AM**

the day i met u, duh

Oh.

**Read 10:16 AM**

😂😂😂😂😂

ok so typically when ppl 

get together a conversation

is had first

what are u doing?

can i facetime u?

  
  
  


A rush of panic floods through Kageyama as he reads this. He had just started to get a wave of confidence before this request, and he’s not sure how well that will hold up face to face. Even if it’s over a screen. 

He rushes to the mirror in his bathroom. Looking over his reflection a few times and patting down some flyaway hairs, he gives himself a silent pep talk. 

Feeling as prepared as he thinks he possibly can be, he types out “yes” and sends it to Hinata. Sitting on his bed and staring at the screen in anticipation, his heart still skips a beat when the screen lights up with the facetime request. 

His finger slides across the bottom of his phone screen to accept the call. A dimly lit, but familiar, face pops up on the screen in front of him. 

“Hey,” Hinata greets with an underlying giggle. His head is planted against a pillow, and his phone is hovering above his face while he is lying down. As the screen jostles around with the wavering support, Kageyama notices that he is shirtless beneath his bedsheets. 

“Hi,” Kageyama replies, swallowing back his anxiety. He glances at the square in the bottom right of the screen to see what Hinata is seeing, and immediately feels the urge to hide his face in his palm. 

“You look nice, did you change your hair?” Hinata asks, immediately lifting the downward spiral Kageyama’s spirits had shifted towards. 

“Yeah.” 

“So, boyfriend, huh?” Hinata asks with an edgy quality to his voice. “I kinda like the sound of that.” 

“Me too,” Kageyama admits, feeling his inhibitions melt away bit by bit. 

“Are you alone?”

“Yeah.” 

“Hmm… Wanna have some fun?” Hinata’s voice is dripping with honey, despite the random glitches of the facetime connection. 

“How?” Kageyama asks, feeling a warmth creep into the pit of his stomach. 

  
Hinata giggles again before shifting back into his buttery smooth tone, “Man, I’m going to have to teach you everything.  _ What were you doing for the last three years _ ?” 


End file.
